So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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