when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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