can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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