dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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