all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
