Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
