If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
