I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
