Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
