Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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