I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
