so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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