In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My breasts were aching with rage.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
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