Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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