we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
