Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
