he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
