Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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