In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
