I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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