I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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