i permit you to call me
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
