Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
