I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
