So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
