There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
