you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I AM VODKA MAN
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
