That's intense
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
