she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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