He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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