Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
