I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
