Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize