he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
