Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
