the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
