he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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