census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
