i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
