Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you win again, gameday.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
