I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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