Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
