if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
