I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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