whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize