I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
