You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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