when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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