had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
