im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
her vagine was all disorganized.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
