I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
