also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
