He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize