If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
