I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
he fucked my hip out of place.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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