I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
