I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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