Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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