You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize