no, he came in my armpit
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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