Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
