hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
