i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
