Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
