So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
