At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
