Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Another day, another engagement, another cat
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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