One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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