a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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