I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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